Dynasty Fix

Nick’s aka Dynasty Fix’s completely biased Team-by-team auction redraft grades (in no order):

Armegeddon$: C
Isaac you blew your load on the “Big Guns” and didn’t have much money leftover to buy up depth or fantasy starters. You did however trade Zeke today for quite a bit so you’re officially in full rebuild mode two weeks into our brand-new league. Congrats dumb-dumb!
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Dart Suckz Cockz: D
Sorry Dustin; you drafted an amazing trio at WR but a declining QB and two declining RB’s. Other than the list below you managed to buy a sophomore QB, 2.3, and Kareem Hunt. You also managed to mortgage away your entire future this week in buying Kyler Murray. Rough start dude.
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Drunk Uncle InmateS: B
Well done drunk Uncle! You drafted really well for only saying three words throughout the whole night. You also managed to grab 1.11, David Montgomery, Jimmy G. and George Kittle to add to your list below. This week you traded for Zeke and really only lost Sanders, 2.2, and a 1^st round pick which is three rookie drafts from now. Well done sir!
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D-Towns Dogs: A
Dalton you had a nice draft. A ton of depth having drafted the most players and picks of us all and decent starters. You should be competitive each week as you normally are. I’m sure you’ll find some studs in the rookie draft to help as well.
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Fournetteflix and Chill: D+
Sorry Teeis, you spent all your money on four players. Four really good players, but I think you realized quickly how tough it would be putting a roster together, so 2-days later you got to trading away Murray and a bunch of free agents adding Michael Thomas, Matt Ryan, Sony Michel, and Ronald Jones. You’ll put together a competitive roster because all you’ll do is trade until you have one. AND you got ya boi!
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Gary Potter’s Wand: C-
Garret don’t take the draft grade to heart. You managed to grab some rookie picks and a nice combo at RB. It’ll be tough rolling out Brady and Tyrod each week, but you have the rookie draft to help. Juju and Kelce are solid to roll out each week, but I don’t see John Brown cutting it as a WR3 for you.
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King Snakes: B-
Josh I like you. And your team. You went all out on Patty-Cakes and still had enough left over for two studly RB’s in Chubb & Jacobs, Golladay, Gallup, Winston, some 2^nd round rookie picks, young WR’s, and a couple vet RB’s in the later rounds. You’ll want to find a 2^nd QB however. Winston’s in an unknown FA situation. If he lands a starting gig, I think you killed it. If he doesn’t… B-.
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McCaffrican Americans: C+
Dave I think you did better than average. Your roster looks like it would have won the league a couple years ago. A lot of declining talent in Rodgers, Green, Hilton, Thielen, AP, and Sanders. I do see the upside in the Drake and Ekeler picks, but you’ll need something else at RB.  Luckily you have 1.6 and 1.12. I’m guessing you’ll make a few moves to get younger and you’ll do well. Hell, you’ll probably win the league because it doesn’t matter who you start. Pick one.
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Meme Kings: A-
Dart-a-Lart!!! “QUON AND…” Well, you got one of the two to complete your famous chant which is unfortunate because Isaac just traded Zeke without letting any other owner know he was available, and I’m sure you would have paid more to have that chant back. Anyway, A Rob for $76.00 was (to me) the steal of the draft. Grabbing 1.8 was nice. You’re an RB away from having a nice starting lineup. However, you will have to start Tannehill or Darnold each week. I’m sure you’ll make a move or two to finish in the money… right behind me.
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Pokin’ Pocahontas: D-
Craigy, you managed to get Michael Thomas and then traded him away. Which is a good thing because you didn’t draft much. I am a fan of Daniel Jones but your target players in general are on that “Are they good?” list. Henry and Aaron Jones repeating what they did seems impossible, but who knows. I’m not a fan of Aaron Jones or any player that wears those God-awful colors. Realizing the full rebuild early should help. Just bite the bullet and ride it out. Trevor Lawrence is worth it!
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Rub My Chubb: B+
Despite drafting for twenty minutes you killed it Joey. CMC and Fournette is a nice tandem. Julio, Kupp, Diggs, and Metcalf as a WR4 is great depth. I guess we’ll see how Teddy fairs in Carolina but for $50 why not? And Cam might actually be the steal of the draft for $15. Wtf are we doing?… If Cam gets a starting gig, you’ll be super competitive this year. Well done Joe. #blowpackblow
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The Replacements: A+
Obviously. I fucking killed it! You all look stupid for even reading my own draft grade… Nick, exceptional job letting all the owners overpay on the big names while collecting proven fantasy assets and young talented superstars. I couldn’t have done it better myself. The real question is; where are you going to put that big beautiful trophy at the end of the year? I’d suggest the baby’s room so that little tyke can learn to draft as well as you one day. Congrats Nick and what a wonderful year 2020 was (beside all that deadly pandemic stuff… that was horrible… but everything else was great for you and only you.)!!!
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